Happy Fall Yall!

Autumn began this week and the weather has been perfect. Tennessee is beautiful this time of year and it’s finally cool enough that I can buckle the kids into their car seats without breaking a sweat. School has been in session for about a month for me and W, 2 months for the girls. We’re finally getting back to a regular schedule on school nights.

Having 4 people in school can be super chaotic. Sometimes I feel like we’ll be in survival mode forever. Hopefully things will get easier soon. My husband has 3 job interviews lined up Monday. Fortunately he’s currently employed, but we could finally move further out and have some more room and maybe even some land if he gets hired at one of the new places.

Obviously, moving further out is still in the discussion stage, as it has been for years. In the meantime, I’m just trying not to get my hopes up too much (but still checking RealTracs every day because I’m slightly obsessed.) Anyway, I’m praying that everything will go well. My biggest wish for 2014 is that we’ll be able to move.

Balancing Acts

I'm dealing with so much stress right now. Sometimes it feels like trying to better myself or our situation is pointless. Only 3 weeks into this semester and I'm already feeling overwhelmed and falling behind. I don't think I will ever get my degree. If I don't get my degree, we will probably be broke forever. I wish I could just focus on being a mom and not have to worry about working or finishing school, but that isn't my life. I do want my degree, if only to set an example for my children, but trying to study for these classes on top of being a housewife and mom is an incredible amount of work. I don't know how others do it. I feel so trapped right now. 

Even if I wanted to work, it's not like we could afford it. We tried that arrangement for about 2 years and most of my paycheck went straight to childcare. I keep telling myself that things will be easier once my youngest is in elementary school because aftercare is way more affordable than full-time daycare. Ideally I would find a part-time job where I work only during the day when the kids are at school. That way I could bring in some extra income while avoiding the cost of childcare all together. 

That idea is still at least 2 years away from happening. In the meantime I'm just trying to survive. I feel very discouraged. Everything is still so up in the air right now. I don't even know where my husband will be working next year, or where we'll be living next year, or if I'll ever finish school, etc. I feel like whenever I make an attempt to better myself/ my situation in one area, another area of my life suffers because of it. I usually try not to complain, but life is just hard sometimes. My life is one huge balancing act right now and I'm trying so hard not to let anything fall, but something's gotta give.